'Lies! Lies! We're just two guys from Wisconsin!'
By Lame Shirkland
A two-headed space alien/cartoonist, calling itself Huck/Konopacki Labor Cartoons, has spent the last twenty years single-handedly shrinking the American labor movement!
"Lies! Lies! We are NOT from the AFL-UFO! We're two workingclass white guys from Wisconsin who draw labor cartoons, wear glasses and just happened to grow beards at the same time," Huck/Konopacki proclaimed at a JOINT press conference, clearly compounding the confusion.
"Our only crime was working twenty years for a lost cause. We wish to clarify, once and for all, that we are Gary Huck AND Mike Konopacki--two labor cartoonists, not one, get it?"
Ah, but two of one mind! "We wanted to serve labor, not shrink it!" the hirsute four-eyed cheese-heads insisted. "We thought we could use humor and acerbic workingclass wit to subvert the capitalist conspiracy against worker solidarity and creativity."
To the contrary! Ever since Huck/Konopacki started drawing cartoons, organized labor has been shrinking faster than George W's credibility!
Huck/Konopacki melded their identities at the 1983 convention of the Association of Single-Headed Political Cartoonists, where they put their heads together and "conjoined" forces. That October, they released their first monthly syndicated cartoon package. Union membership has shrunk steadily ever since--from 20.1% of the workforce to a threadbare 13.2 per cent today!
Coincidence? I think not! The Big Question now for the once onerous onesome is, what about the next twenty years?
"I dunno," they said. "Should we redouble our efforts in yet another exercise in futility? Or should we quit while we're still a head?"
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P.O. Box 1917
Madison, WI 53701-1917
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